http://www2.heart.org/goto/aeshasheartjourney

Usually I’m super excited about this day. This year, while grateful, I also feel some form of survivor’s guilt. I’ve had a few family members, friends and associates pass from sudden heart attacks/heart disease in recent years. Most with no knowledge/history of heart disease. It mostly brings on a state of confusion, avoidance and emotional distress. I am no more worthy than they were. For me, it also brings on a sense of questioning my purpose. Outside of the obvious things I’ve accomplished and dreams/goals I’m currently working on, what else does God want me to do with my life? Am I truly living out my purpose? There is a reason why I survived. There is a reason why I am still here to share my story. Ya know, life for me ain’t been no crystal stair! As I’ve mentioned before, I’m just a dope girl from the South Side of Chicago who has survived more than her share of traumatic life experiences. One would think that doesn’t make me anymore special than another dope survivor chick from the same elements but I guess not. It was truly God’s grace and mercy that kept me. Today, instead of asking “Why me?” I’ll ask “Why not me?” I’ll allow myself to feel the emotions that come along with this day. To feel the emotions of not doing more to spread awareness. To feel the emotions of being here to celebrate with my family. To exercise mindfulness and focus on the positive. To do something good for someone else to brighten their day. To enjoy my annual celebration of life with my tribe. I’ll do my best to find that balance.

Did you know the CDC records indicate a woman suffers a heart attack every 90 seconds in the United States? Did you know genetics is an equal contributor in determining your risk factor for heart disease? Did you know 40% of women who have a heart attack do not experience the “elephant on the chest” feeling? Did you know pain in the back, arm, and/or jaw, nausea, sweating and shortness of breath can also be signs of a heart attack? Did you know it is also possible to have a heart attack without any chest pain? In addition to a healthy diet, regular exercise, sleep and stress reduction women should also keep track of their family history and talk to their physicians frequently about their risk for heart disease.

As you know, I was a pretty “boring” patient when I had my first heart attack. I wasn’t obese. I have never smoked. A social drinker…maybe a few times a year. I exercised several times a week. Under 40 y/o. Other than Seasonal Allergies and Fibromyalgia, I didn’t have any chronic health conditions. Borderline high cholesterol at best. I experienced several close deaths, caregiver burnout, always worked high stress jobs, kids stuff, and more within the 18 months preceding my first heart attack. I sought the help of a mental health professional but the services weren’t successful. All of this seemingly accelerated genetic factors outside of my control. The best tip I can leave with you today is to manage your stress, carefully select a mental health professional, educate yourself on your genetic risk factors, discuss these risk factors with a knowledgeable primary care physician you trust and advocate for yourself. If you ever have questions on heart disease, please reach out to me. I’m an honorary health professional, lol but seriously, I can always be a listening ear and more than willing to share my knowledge. With these small changes, the beat can continue to go on……

It’s been a minute since I’ve updated you guys. As I journey through life as a SURVIVOR, I truly find myself less emotionally available to share my journey. My cousin/friend Key often tells me I need to share my life’s testimony more often than I do. My cousin Dee-Dee previously told me I should write a book and that I have the option of hiring a ghost writer to avoid being in the spotlight. Both are brilliant ideas yet emotionally draining at the same da** time. I have been told what I’ve been willing to share thus far has encouraged others. Who me?! I’m just a girl from the South Side of Chicago who has survived many things from assault, to verbal/emotional abuse, to being a teen Mom to a premature baby, birthing two more premature babies, being a caregiver to many, losing parents and siblings and many, many other family members and friends, to a car accident that left me with a deformity but should’ve killed me, divorce, 3 heart attacks, moved myself out of state twice sight unseen and oh so much more but I AM STILL STANDING! Still rising! I am not oblivious to the fact that I must be one of God’s favorites to survive so much. He hasn’t given me the next portion of strength to travel that road just yet but it’s coming. Maybe I’ll reconsider once I’m an empty nester…hmmmmm? Knowing my relationship with God, it’ll be a big reveal, lol! Until then, I’ll keep you updated on my heart healthy journey via my blog.

4 and NO MORE. Today makes 4 years since my first heart attack. I recently viewed my IG story with snippets of the many real estate activities I completed that day with the last post being roughly 30 minutes before my heart attack. All I could say/think is BUT GOD! I was walking around town, smiling on the outside and not feeling the best on the inside but pushing through like most women do. Many of us suffer from Superwoman Syndrome. In most cases we are the classic definition of Superwoman but sometimes at the expense of our own personal health. I would be lying if I said I no longer pushed through and that I always listen to my body immediately. I still push it but not tooooo much. I know when something isn’t right and in typical Aesha fashion, I assess, reassess, and then GO!

I am so thankful for life. Thankful to have (almost) 4 years heart attack FREE! I’ve had many scares, hospitalizations, tests, blah, blah, blah but no more heart attacks. I’ll take that and be grateful! I would also be lying if I said I don’t think about the possibility of a premature death. That terrifies me. Not necessarily for me because I know where I’ll spend eternal life. I just don’t want to go anytime soon, lbvs! More for my children and Gramtee’s babies. I still have so much more life I want to experience for, and with, them. I don’t want them to ever feel they were robbed of the time they should have had with their Mother/Gramtee. Those of us who have lost our Mother’s as adults know there’s never really “enough” time but we also know that the emotional pain and trauma of that is so much more difficult for children to bear. That gives me the strength to fight when I’m tired. Tired of taking medications. Tired of searching for the right doctors. Tired of explaining to physicians I’m not their textbook patient. Tired of not living the life of a “healthy” 40+ y/o woman. Tired of being tired. Yes, I have friends and family members I could, and do, casually mention this to but there’s only one or two in a remotely similar position as I am. We’re able to help and encourage one another through the mental agony and fear associated with this. Even that is too much. As my Mentor and Bonus Momma says, “It ain’t right but it’s real!” Those are real feelings peeps.

Most people who have survived traumatic life events, and still have smaller battles to face to remain a SURVIVOR, are emotionally exhausted, emotionally depleted and emotionally unavailable from time to time and sometimes at the same time, lol! Yes, we are powerful, strong, resilient, brave and more. Please also allow us some grace when we have tough moments. As you’re able, sincerely ask what you can do to help ease the load. Or surprise us with any small gesture of love and appreciation. Encourage us or let us know we’ve encouraged you. It just might give us a little more strength to stay in the fight.

Healing the heart isn’t just physical. It’s healing the mental, emotional and spiritual chambers of our heart so the beat can continue to go on…….

THREE years since my last heart attack!!! Words can’t describe the myriad of emotions I’m feeling at this moment. Writing this entry has been the most difficult yet. Recently I mentioned to my sisterfriend Ceiley that outside of my very close circle of friends, I don’t talk about my journey too much because it’s still too raw. Some days it feels like yesterday. Some days I feel like I’ve come soooo far. Some days I’m still in disbelief. Some days I try to block it out. Some days I have a VERY tiny bit of fear. Some days I’m tired of praying for myself and truly surviving off the prayers of those interceding on my behalf. But most days I’m thankful and trying to continue to regain some sense of normalcy. That’s hard! I allow myself a minute to “feel” and address those emotions so I don’t stay there. Again, that’s hard but obviously God prepared me for this. Yes, 3 years is a long time for some….but for me, at this moment…..it’s yesterday! I still see the look of amazement, disbelief as if I have a reason to lie and/or shock when I am vulnerable enough to share my story of survival. I often your “You look fine!” or “Girl, no way! You look good!” & not always in a tone of shock. Sometimes it discourages me. Other times it pisses me off. I have to see a new (unrelated) specialist tomorrow….I’m less than thrilled to explain this, yet again, to receive treatment. I promised myself I would complete this entry by my 3rd Heart Attackaversary, aka my 3rd Birthday, so here goes! If you haven’t read the entry detailing my 2nd heart attack, you might want to so this will make sense to you!

……the beat critically goes on and on and on and on (in my Erykah Badu voice). Once Treva dropped me off and helped me get settled, much of the night and the next day (Thursday) is a blur. I experienced frequent chest pains, took Nitroglycerin religiously around the clock and barely, if ever, slept or ate. I still became very winded when performing simple tasks such as walking from my bed to my restroom, sitting up in my bed, attempting to answer a few calls, etc. A slight fear of dying began to sit in my spirit. Who would care for my kids? Who would look after Craig’s wing of the family? I’m the rock of my parents wing of the family and I’m sensitive about my babies! The thought of anyone else doing those things began to destroy me. That strengthened me and stressed me at the same time. Resting while important, was impossible. Frequent deep breathing and praying was the only thing keeping me going. I spoke with my Cardiologists nurse who scheduled me for a follow up with him for the following Monday when he’d return from traveling. I promise she called me several times during the course of the day to make sure I was ok. My PCP wasn’t far behind. She was super feisty during her check-ins.

Friday morning, July 27th…I woke up….struggling physically but trying to be positive mentally. Jarren and Josiah were home and were super helpful but being the protective Mother I am, I had to push through and put my game face on. I hadn’t showered since I came home Wednesday night because I just didn’t have the strength to do so. I figured it’s a brand new day. I didn’t feel any better…but….I also didn’t feel any worse. Press Aesha, PRESS! I make it to the shower and bam! The chest pains were slightly more severe. I was extremely short of breath and became more tired. Barely making it from the shower to my bed, I popped a Nitro under my tongue and tried to regain my composure. Within 10 minutes, my Mom’s long-time friend and one of my bonus Mom’s, Mrs. Moo-Young, called. She’s been my private nurse since birth (lucky her!) so I answered. She could hear the distress and weakness in my voice. She asked what happened and I very briefly explained. She asked how many Nitro’s I’d taken since discharge. It was a ridiculous amount. Her response was “Esha, you probably had another heart attack in the shower. You need to get up now and call someone to take you to the hospital!” Initially, I said no because I didn’t want to return to the death trap. She said “Esha, call your friend and ask her to come get you now to take you to the hospital where your Cardiologist has privileges. If you get worse, you will have to call an ambulance and they’ll take you back to the death trap!” She made sense but I didn’t have much strength. I tried to call but Treva couldn’t answer. She was completing a phone interview but out of love and concern for me, she texted me to confirm I was ok. I relayed the message via text and she immediately sent her teenage daughter while texting me to ensure I was still alert. How she managed to do both?! I don’t know! We pull strength from the depths of our soul for those we love. Spoiler alert….she got the job too y’all!!!

Her daughter races to me and seemingly remained calm. You’d have to know her and Treva to know how this was even possible. I left out but didn’t tell the boys where I was headed so they wouldn’t worry. No way I would’ve gotten away with that from my older crew! That was the longest ride ever! I rode clinching my chest and taking deep breaths while Treva was still texting me. She seemingly remained calm while trying to keep me calm…..she earned a glass or THREE of wine that day! Her daughter dropped me at the ER entrance. She was a teenager y’all. I told her I’d be ok and didn’t need a wheelchair. She believed me….I should be ashamed but I thank God for keeping me while I was trying to protect her innocence. That was so important to me. I made it inside and laid out on the triage desk. The nurses there were efficient, yet calm, when that happened. I said one sentence “I was released from XXXXX Hospital Wednesday night and think I had another heart attack this morning.” The looked at each other like yeh right while another nurse grabbed a wheelchair. She immediately saw all the bruises on my arms and paleness in my face and flew me to the back. They took my shirt off, put me in a hospital bed, hooked me up to an EKG and took a rapid Troponin test in less than 3 minutes. I signed a release to share medical information before leaving the death trap. One nurse was pulling those records while the other two were working on me. The nurse looking at the computer said “She’s right. She was just released at 20:30 Wednesday night!” The other nurse looked at the Troponin results and said “Ma’am, you’ve had another heart attack!” Yet again, there were no signs on my EKG and my BP was elevated for me but just fine for a “normal” person. In a 5 minute time frame, I received confirmation and again, devastation set in.

Because I was at my preferred hospital, they were able to connect with a partner of my Cardiologist. Did I already mention my Cardiologist was out of the country on vacation? His partner WALKED roughly a half mile, in GA heat and humidity, from the clinic to the ER to lay eyes on me. He proceeded to say he needed to put eyes on me, how rare it was for someone my age to have two heart attacks 6 days apart, a list of what tests would be run, his plan to contact the Cardiologist who performed my tests a few days prior AND that he was contacting my Cardiologist immediately to discuss my case. My Cardiologist graciously took his call and provided a plan of care. This is when I knew he was the physician for me! He couldn’t get rid of me now if he tried! The on-call Cardiologist from the death trap and another partner within the office also came to the hospital to speak with me. The on-call Cardiologist from the death trap wasn’t too friendly but I guess he wanted to see for himself what he missed *insert eye roll here*. Shortly thereafter, Jashon and Treva arrived at the hospital. I called my PCP to give her an update. Yes, she’s on staff here and would be contacted shortly but me being me I needed her input ASAP. She too was in disbelief, pissed with the death trap, had tons of questions and made me chuckle a little bit by reminding me how “special” of a patient I am to “cause” all of this drama and also reach her on her day off. Yep, she’s stuck with me too! After roughly 80 hours, a few procedures, several blown IV’s, blood tests, a bleeding scare, cardiac enzymes out of whack, Hematology consult, being monitored like a hawk, etc., the team discovered a clot at the top of one of my stents. My body wasn’t responding to the antiplatelet medication. A simple blood test known as P2Y12 revealed this information. I vaguely remember the full discussion due to the mere shock of it all, but in summary the insurance I had at the time typically wouldn’t cover the cost of the test unless mitigating factors existed. Are you freaking serious?!?!?! So the death trap didn’t think the 2nd heart attack qualified as a mitigating factor? Nor did they see the clot at the top of my stent. (The Cardiologist that stopped by from the death trap still didn’t agree/acknowledge that he missed it during his procedure) During my hospital stay, I didn’t sleep. The first night a few of my forever friends had a phone rotation to talk to me and keep me calm….although they were doing most of the talking because I was still weak. I later found out there were a lot of tears shared amongst friends. My room was right outside the nurses station. They were in the room at least every 15-30 minutes the first night. I told the nurse how scared I was. Scared to die. Scared to trust the medical staff. Scared of leaving my kids motherless. Scared of the impact this will have on my family. Scared of what my new normal would be….if any! She was a praying woman and provided amazing comfort. I was discharged Monday on a newly prescribed antiplatelet medication but guess what y’all?! My insurance wouldn’t cover it. We knew this was the best option for me as after the loading dose was given, the P2Y12 test was performed again and my levels had greatly improved! The only option was to pay for it out of pocket to ensure I had enough to last for 30 days. The hospital pharmacy worked out an amazing deal that significantly reduced the out of pocket cost. In the interim, my Cardiologist had to begin the process of an appeal and medical review with my insurance. Talk about feeling defeated, frustrated and scared AGAIN! I’d finally made progress….now my hands are tied again. Like really?!?! I was discharged with appointments to follow up with my Cardiologist, Hematologist and PCP. I made it home safely. Let all the necessary people know I was stable. Cried and prayed myself through a restless night of sleep. Why me Lord? Why me?! And the beat goes on…………….

And today makes 3!

3 years since my FIRST heart attack

3 years of readjusting to life as a heart attack SURVIVOR

3 years of being on blood thinners

3 years of living with physical restrictions

3 years of advocating for life

3 years on my journey to a healthier heart

3 years ago I had no idea that in the next 99 days to come I’d have two more heart attacks.  That there would be many more nights in the hospital.  Many more days in the hospital just for observation.  That I’d see which friends and family really have my back mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually and financially.  That my naturally restrictive diet would become even more restricted.  That genetics make me look great but also make for cardiovascular issues outside of my control.  That managing my stress level could save my life.  That little things like trying to ride a bike again would require a phone call to the doctor.  That 3 years later I’d still be alive.  Still having days where I am faced with my own mortality.   That 3 years later I’d be at the beginning of new.  New life.  New opportunities.  Learning to love in new ways. & still praising and thanking GOD for 3 years down and prayerfully many, many more to go!

3 years

156.4 weeks

1,096 days

26,304 hours

Thankful for every single one of them!

#THREETimeHeartAttackSurvivor

#ThePowerof3

#MyOwnTrinity

#MyAngelNumber

#JesusAlwaysSpeaksToMe

#HeartHealthy

#OnTheRoadToAHealthierHeart

……another day in Aesha’s journey to a healthy(ier) heart

Well here we are at the 2 year anniversary of my first heart attack. On today I am experiencing a host of different emotions…..from grateful to be alive to sick of being sick. This isn’t easy by any means. I’m a mother, sister, cousin, godmother, friend and due to the untimely deaths of many family members I’m a combined auntgreatauntgrandparent that wants to live a “normal” 40 year old life! I don’t want to be treated like a delicate flower. While I am grateful for the love, concern and support of family and friends, it’s still a position that I just don’t want to be in. I’m just keeping it real with y’all today. Yes I plan to keep fighting. Yes I know it’s not an easy fight. But what must I do?? Suck it up buttercup!!! I’m a soldier! The beat must go on…….

When I started this blog last year, my cousin Kendra told me not to make any promises as to how often I would update the blog and to just go with the flow…..best blog advice ever! I’ve returned and tried to write but the words just wouldn’t flow right. I have sooo many incomplete entries, smh. Today, I’m just going to write how/what I feel. No overly excessive editing or critiquing my style. I’m finding it best to write like I’m talking to my friends because that’s what you are! Y’all know I have multiple degree/certifications and am well spoken when needed….today just ain’t one of them days so let’s just pick up where we left off last year. Did you miss it? Go back and check it out….that was just the beginning! This will be a long one!

…..Once I made it home Saturday afternoon, I still had trouble breathing, walking short distances, talking for long periods of time and more. At this point, I hadn’t been at my part-time job long enough to qualify for FMLA and Real Estate was my full-time career which we all know is 100% commission based so I made the tough decision to return to my remote part-time job Tuesday evening on light duty. Although it was a struggle, I made it roughly a week before being hospitalized again. My cousin Vanessa came to visit. In her normal cool, calm and collective demeanor she noticed my shortness of breath and strongly encouraged me to go back to the hospital. When we arrived, I was immediately taken to a room and admitted shortly thereafter. Unfortunately, I had yet another awful experience at this hospital….but they were able to stabilize and treat and I was discharged on the 3rd day. In short, I experienced all the unlikely side effects of one of the blood thinners and my blood pressure kept crashing. At one point my BP was high 50’s/high 30’s. I am hypotensive but was placed on the “standard” dosage of beta blockers and blood pressure meds with some loose protocols on when to take them…huge NO NO for me! I had the same day shift nurse for two days. She professionally and carefully suggested I find another Cardiologist and hospital. Once I was discharged, of course I followed up with the Cardiologist initially assigned to me but I also began the daunting search for another Cardiologist more willing to listen to me and my team of nurses who’ve been with me forever and one who wouldn’t treat me like just “another complaining black woman”. This was a HUGE undertaking as most physicians aren’t willing to accept a patient in an post acute state and I also had a form of Obamacare which (unfortunately) limited my network of physicians….that’s a whole ‘nother discussion! After lengthy discussions with my PCP and two weeks of researching several Cardiologist, I was able to schedule an appointment with my new Cardiologist. This was roughly the 3rd or 4th phone call and included begging and pleading and many tears. The scheduler felt my pain and worked her magic with him and his nurse….initially the plan was to obtain a 2nd opinion but little did he know he’d be stuck with me forever! The only downside was that the appointment was almost a month away which meant I had to follow up with the whack Cardiologist again!!! At that appointment not too many changes were made….very nonchalant and uninformative approach. He encouraged me to walk short distances and begin an at home form of cardiac rehab.

At my first appointment with my new Cardiologist, he reviewed all my tests, heart cath, previous medication changes, tweaked a few to stabilize my low blood pressure and ordered a few more tests that would take several weeks to complete. He wasn’t too thrilled about the idea of not going to Cardiac Rehab but at this point it had been 2 months since my first heart attack. The plan was to complete all my tests and reassess in 4 weeks. 2-3 weeks later I ended up in the ER for chest pain and facial weakness. I stayed a few hours for observation but that delayed the scheduling of the rest of my tests. Well on July 21st guess what happened?? You guessed it! Another heart attack!!!

It was a beautiful sunny day in Georgia. My great-nephew had been visiting from Chicago for a few weeks. Josiah had a basketball game. Jarren had some football stuff. I had to show a few homes and was preparing for a final walkthrough scheduled for the next day. Just a regular old day. My niece Nikki and her Mom (Lisa) had just arrived from Chicago to pick up my great-nephew. I was standing up folding clothes and talking. I began to feel mild chest pain. I calmly and secretively walked to my room and popped a Nitroglycerin under my tongue and returned. This should help is what I thought. I didn’t want to go back to the hospital nor did I want to call Dr. B because I KNEW he would make me go in. Well the Nitro didn’t work. The intensity increased in my chest, left arm and face. I started experiencing shortness of breath and weakness. I’m not too sure of the events that followed. I remember crying, taking more Nitro and Aspirin, Lisa rubbing my back and praying, uttering the words “Call Kim” to Jarren, asking them not to interrupt Jashon at his modeling engagement (I’m such a mother, lol) and Nikki relaying the information from Kim to the 911 operator. It seemed like this took hours….but I’m sure it’s was less than 15 minutes b/c I lived right across from the firehouse. The EMT’s get there take my vitals, grab my meds and place me inside the ambulance for an EKG……they confirm I was having a heart attack. More tears welled up in eyes. I asked them to PLEASE take me to Northside. The were unable to oblige because it was a 7 minute transportation difference between Northside and the death trap. My Cardiologist isn’t even on staff at the death trap!!! I looked out the ambulance and my girl Treva was standing there. She took the EMT to the side…to this day I have no idea what she said but if you know Treva you can imagine what the conversation was like lol! I remember her saying something along the lines of it’s going to be okay and that she was following the ambulance. The EMT’s were very encouraging and did everything they could to relax me during the ride.

When we arrived at the death trap the doctor who almost killed me the first time was standing there waiting on me. I mustered up enough strength to tell him he was not allowed to touch me in a not so nice way. He looked sad. A part of me feels bad about it today but an even larger part of me knows I did the right thing and would do it all over again. Once I was remotely stabilized, I jumped into Real Estate mode while still in the ER. I had a final walkthrough in a matter of hours and a closing the following day. The Real Estate world doesn’t stop because the agent is ill. Death is pretty much the only thing that can delay a transaction and even then your broker must step in. I had to protect my clients and myself with what little energy I had. My amazing friend Larea stepped in to attend the final walkthrough and our wonderful Sales Manager Jay attended closing. Now back to the real issue at hand….my heart! Somehow, someway Jashon arrived kinda upset that I didn’t want him to know. I think Nikki went to get him. I was admitted. Candace authorized a small dose of Ativan to relax me. I remember responding to Larea’s text and to the sellers agent confirming the walkthrough was successful, looking over to see someone sitting there….can’t remember who it was….and the nurse taking my phone….and asking someone where my wallet and keys were. She was a strict and feisty woman! I swear she gave me double the dose because I have very, very, very little memory of the next 36 hours. I think her intentions were good but dang! I’m guessing Treva and Nikki worked out the logistics for the kids?? I do know the Cardiologist on call didn’t make much of an effort to call AND REMAIN in constant discussion with my Cardiologist. When I finally woke up, I contacted my Cardiologists nurse to update her. Dr. B was out of the country. Being the amazing person she is, she engaged his partner but what was I to do in the meantime?!?!? I’d finally found a doctor who was smart and listened but he wasn’t available. Nothing was discovered during the heart cath….basically no root cause for a 2nd heart attack. I was still experiencing chest pain. I couldn’t keep anything down. Mild shortness of breath with minimal activity. & my Troponin was still elevated. I was “allowed” to stay an extra day for more observation.

On the last day, the nurse had a very solemn demeanor. She was trying her best to keep me. The Hospitalist denied every attempt. Scared and unsure, I called my Cardiologists nurse and my PCP. Jashon stepped out to call Kim. They were appalled. Shocked. Pissed off! My PCP contacted the death trap but with no jurisdiction at that hospital there wasn’t much she could do. I spoke with the Medical Director who told me that he couldn’t find a medical need for me to stay but if I chose to refuse discharge and stay another night I would personally be responsible for the financial portion if my condition didn’t change. Of course I was disgusted. I knew I didn’t feel right but what could I do? Treva picked me up at 8:30pm. The journey gets worse and the beat critically goes on…..

Do you know what today is?! It’s one year from my FIRST heart attack!!

It was Thursday, April 19, 2018 at approximately 10:45pm.  The day that changed the way I look at life FOREVER.  Yes, I’d had other health issues/scares but this one forced me to face my own mortality.  How could this happen?  Why me?  I am 4 months and 16 days away from my 39^th birthday–yes I counted! I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t .   Way too young for this I thought!  I started this blog for you to journey with me as I reminisce over the last year.  PLEASE READ IT NOW OR SAVE IT AND READ IT SOON…especially my female family members and friends.  It could save your life or the life of a loved one.  It’ll probably make you laugh a little bit too  The days leading up to my first “official” heart attack, I experienced several seemingly minor and unrelated symptoms.  Follow with me…..

Monday evening while dropping Jarren at basketball practice I felt a VERY sharp pain in my chest that lasted all of 5 seconds.  I had onions which generally caused me to become gassy and had been dealing with tons of ADD issues with Jarren.  I figured it was that.  I chewed a few Tums when I got home, whoosaaahhhh’d and didn’t think anything of it.  Worked a little more.  Slept a little longer than normal….it was a quiet night.

I took a few naps Tuesday during the day and felt guilty because Real Estate Agents truly live by the statement ‘If we don’t work, we don’t eat!’ but I was super tired!  Tuesday night while working I had some mild left side facial pain.  At this point, I’d had 3 sinus infections in 2018 alone so I assumed another one was looming.  At some point I took some OTC sinus medications and the last of the antibiotics I forgot to take from the previous sinus infection, slept in between calls and finished my shift.  My medical friends/family know that this was dangerous and could’ve been a turning point.  All sinus medications have an active ingredient that increases your heart rate and in some cases your blood pressure.  God was with me.

Wednesday morning, I woke up like any other day got the kids ready for school and was fussing at my angel baby Josiah…all of a sudden I felt winded and labored.  I pushed through and took him to the bus stop and minutes later took Jarren and my friend Kam’s kids to school.  The whole ride I was trying to talk but kept saying man I’m winded.  I must be having an asthma attack….at least I thought.  I came home, took a breathing treatment and yet another nap.  Again, woke up fine and went about my day.  I had a date and some real estate appointments that I didn’t want to miss, lol!  After my date I had one mild chest pain and he said “You should get that checked out if it happens again.” I responded “Yeh, I will.”  The pain went away.  I went home and took another nap.  I happen to speak with my BFF (who’s also an RN) and cracked a joke “Girl I had an asthma attack today.  I ain’t had an asthma attack since 1997!”  She laughed but didn’t find it as funny as I did not even knowing anything about the previous two days.  She just said “If that happens again you need to call your doctor.  That’s really odd.”  The rest of the day/night was uneventful….even went for a run.

Thursday…the BIG DAY! I had a crap ton of real estate appointments and some business to handle with Jashon for a car accident he was in but built in time for more naps.  Those of you who really know me know I don’t sleep much, if at all, during the day unless it’s my Saturday afternoon nap.  Otherwise I’m up about 18-19 hours a day with ease.  After I finished my last appointment around 7p I remembered I didn’t take anything out for dinner and still had to pick up Jarren from football practice by 7:30p and be at my PT gig by 8:30p.  I decided to stop at Kroger to pick up a Chef’s Roasted Chicken.  Normally I would’ve gone to Publix near my house but for some odd reason I didn’t want that and didn’t want to go to the closest Kroger.  I opted to go to one an extra 3 minutes away….again God was with me.  Jashon called and was stressing me clean out….which was normal for this season of his life….I hit the intersection of Shirley Bridge and Douglas Road and felt the same sharp chest pain as I did Monday night.  I told him “Jashon, I have to talk to you later.  You’re stressing me out!!”  Josiah and I went in Kroger.  Every step was labored.  Every breath I took was a struggle.  Whole time I’m quiet and looking at Josiah.  He asked if I was ok.  I suggested we walk to the BP machine.  I took my BP and it was roughly 140/90…extremely high for me as I’m hypotensive.  I asked him to call Kim.  She didn’t answer.  I proceeded to the SELF checkout line and realized I forgot water.  I sent Joisah to get a case of water and checked out AGAIN (I know cray cray!)  I slowly walked to the car.  Every step felt like I had weights on my ankles.  I called my cousin Tony (who’s also an MD) and briefly told him my symptoms he said “Esha relax it’s probably GERD but if you feel the need to go to the ER then go.  Especially with our family history.  It’s up to you.  I think you’re ok.  If you go, make sure they check your Troponin level.”  I think he was hopeful that I was ok.  I was so focused on not calling off work and not placing Josiah in an ambulance that I wasn’t going to go.  My BFF called back and heard how winded I sounded and asked Josiah how I looked.  She said “You need to call 911 now!”  I took all the energy I had to say “No. Remember Josiah just said on his bday that he didn’t want to get older because everyone that gets old dies.  I can make it to the hospital.  I cannot put him in an ambulance.  Stay on the phone with me.  It’s only 4 minutes away.”  I drove myself to the hospital.  Made it in and laid on the counter….This is why God sent me to that Kroger. I was closer to an ER. Initially they rushed me back and quickly took my BP and an EKG.  Josiah took my thumb to unlock my phone and called Jashon and said “I think Mommy is having a heart attack!!”  No one had told this child anything about a heart attack…he just knew!  The nurse firmly asked him to get off the phone and instructed him not to say that….let’s just say he is his mothers’ child.  He gave her a hard look dead in her eyes and didn’t comply.  He then reminded Jashon that we share our locations via iPhone as he didn’t know the name of the hospital we were in then he hung up on HIS terms, LOL!  The nurse told me “You’re probably stressed out from Atlanta’s traffic.” Using what little energy I had, I told her my BP was high for me and this wasn’t normal!  She brushed me off and sent me back to the WAITING room.  The radiology technician came to the ER and said “Williams” two people stood up…he clarified “Aesha” (of course he didn’t say it right ☹) He saw how weak I was and grabbed a wheelchair and whisked me off for a chest x-ray.  When he completed the test he said, “Please take care of yourself!” I think he knew what I was in for.  He suggested the Triage nurse take me to a room.  Something isn’t right he said.  They finally did…not because they wanted to but because of what he said and I also sat right in their face so they could continue to see I was struggling.  Nurse came in….did nothing.  Doctor came in…pretty much did a step above nothing but he did ask me for my family history, ordered a shot of Toradol for the pain (which wasn’t my chief complaint by the way.  I have a VERY high pain tolerance.  It takes a lot for me to complain of pain) and I requested he check my Troponin level.  He didn’t want to but complied.  At this point I expected him to have a heightened sense of urgency as I informed him of 5 close relatives (Father, Maternal and Paternal Grandmothers, Maternal Aunt and Paternal Uncle) who’d passed away from heart attacks or Congestive Heart Failure….nope! Nurse came back with Toradol and drew labs.  Dr returned moments later and said all my test results were negative and he would be discharging me.  He suggested I follow up with a Cardiologist.  My response “Sir, I don’t have a Cardiologist.  I don’t have a personal history of cardiac issues hence why I’m here.  Something isn’t right and you need to figure it out.”  He reluctantly ordered a CT Scan to see if I had blood clots anywhere.  When I returned from my test, he came in and said “I have to be honest with you.  We gave you the wrong test and exposed you to die (contrast) for no reason.  I’m so sorry.  If you want us to read the test we will but we’ll have to charge you.”  Of course the Gwen came out of me –  “No the he– you won’t.  You will read the test and tell me the results FREE of charge and confirm all my other tests were performed correctly and that includes a repeat Troponin!  I am not leaving this da– hospital until I am certain I am OK!  I will not leave this hospital and drop dead!!”  At this point all the boys were there.  Kam dropped Jarren off not knowing what was going on.  I finessed my way out of telling her what was going on and asked her not to come in….that shouldn’t surprise y’all tho, LOL!  Jashon gave the man a look of death.  I just knew the doctor was going to die soon b/c all he heard was you did something to my Momma – smh boys!!!   He later returned to tell me all the test were wrong.  Remember that other ‘Williams’??  Well they gave me her blood tests and CT Scan and her mine.  He was apologetic but I gave zero ___ about it.  I was pissed, winded and losing my cool.  The charge nurse rechecked my Troponin level and guess what?!  It was extremely elevated.  Every doctor and nurse on the floor ran into the room to finally begin the heart attack protocol of Morphine, Heparin, Nitroglycerin, EKG/Telemetry Monitoring, more Troponin draws, contacting the on call Cardiologist, etc.  Jashon stepped out and called my baby girl Khadijah (I didn’t want to tell her until I knew exactly what was going on.)  She wanted to speak with the nurses of course.  I believe Jashon told her the entire fiasco.  She had to make sure she was comfortable with next steps.  By the way….she’s a nurse too!  I’m surrounded!  I confirmed the results with Candace and Kim…my medical POA’s, lifesavers and God sent friends!  Kim cried…SMH…my poor BFF.  I told her she had to toughen up.  It wasn’t no need for her and I to be emotional right now.  At this point it hit me….I had laid there THREE AND A HALF HOURS WITHOUT a blood pressure cuff/reading, continuous EKG…NOTHING AND SURVIVED!!!  God was with me!!!!  He truly walked with me every step of the way.  I finally told my dream team of friends Treva, Kam and Camille (Skeeta) who immediately jumped in and took over with the kids, school, etc and Wil, my brother from another mother, was there as well.  When my baby cousin Paige came, I thought I was going to die!!  She hadn’t visited me in ages, lol!  I was like who sent you and what they know that I don’t hahaha!  The next day Candace stepped into action and spoke with the nurses b/c they were all kindsa cray cray!  If she was emotional she hid it very well. She tried to tell them how it takes a lot of anesthesia to knock me out AND keep me out. She also suggested not to go through my wrist due to the metal in my arm.  My PCP, Dr. Tiffany Edwards, MD who is the bomb by the way, also suggested the same thing.  They partially listened.  They went through the groin but I was awake and crying during the ENTIRE Coronary Angiogram.  I felt every tug, push, pull, tear, insert, etc.  I kept hearing the cardiologist say give her more.  At this point it was too late.  I kept telling them they should’ve listened to Candace.   When the procedure was over he told me one artery was blocked at 95%, another at 90% and a blood clot in another.  I likely had a cluster of heart attacks Monday – Wednesday but couldn’t confirm.  He discussed how the heart attack symptoms in women are much more difficult to detect and often result in death because they are frequently misdiagnosed, perceived by most women as no big deal and/or simply ignored.  He applauded me several times for being an advocate for my own health.  I was shocked. I’d just had a physical 3/27/18. I’ve had borderline high cholesterol since my early 20’s but for the first time they’d suggested medicinal measures due to my family history but nothing too major. One of the nurses jokingly said my cholesterol was a heck of a lot lower than hers and almost all the patients she’d ever seen. I was young, active and healthy. How did this really happen?

When I arrived in recovery Kam, Skeeta and my kids were there.  Kam fed me dinner because I couldn’t bend for 4-6 hours…this was humbling, heartbreaking and heartwarming.  They left shortly afterwards suggesting I rest. That didn’t happen. I called Candace (again!!!) at like 6amCST b/c I hadn’t slept and didn’t want to take the meds they were giving me.  Y’all she has to love me.  She calmly fussed and made me take them….said her famous words “Go lay down!” then hung up, LOL!!  I drove myself home that day.  No one knew initially.  Yes, everyone was pissed when they found out but I had to get my car home and to my kids.  They were discharging me anyway so why wait for a ride if my car was there?!  I couldn’t stay at that hospital another day.  48 hours was long enough.  I called Jashon, Jarren, Josiah and Eugene (another adopted son) when I pulled up to come help me up the stairs.  They were visibly pissed and even more puzzled.  I drove myself home after a Cesarean and with one hand/arm after surgeries…..to me this was nothing!  I told them to calm the heck down!

GOD IS AMAZING!!!!!  The journey to a healthier heart began at this point.  Stay tuned for the next steps of the journey……………….

Thanks for joining me!

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton